I’ve been thinking about how I put out a lot of content online, but most of it is far from personal. I don’t often talk about the struggles of life or the things that are bothering me.
Yet I’m the first to tell someone if they want to reach and help others. They should share about the personal struggles and hardships they face.
… Here we are and I haven’t really done that.
Today is different However
As I sit here I look down at my leg I notice the hole in my shin. Maybe I should have gotten stitches or went to the doctor or the hospital. But I thought it was cool.
Even though the scar was gained in training for football and not during an actual game I thought it was just cool. And there is something to say about that. It’s proof!
Proof I was there. Proof I had taken things to the max. It felt manly. However, what I will tell you about today felt anything but manly.
Stars and Scars
This attitude might make more sense if you knew a story from long ago. It might also help you understand why, in my mind, it’s manly to have a scar, but only those that you earn.
Some 15 or so years earlier when I was very young life 4 younger. I remember looking at my dad’s face and seeing something that seemed out-of-place. “What’s that I asked?” I asked.
“A star,” I thought he replied.
He corrected me, but my mind had been set. I decided scars were like stars and they were cool! Now fast forward several years to my first watching of Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade.
When young Indie is in the train facing the lion he cracks the whip and cuts just below his lip above his chin. They used that wound to tie the young Indie to the older Harrison Ford who has a scar there. I wouldn’t say it was me that had decided. More like a universal truth. Men had scars from doing manly things.
Something You Didn’t Know: My Dad is just like Indiana Jones!
No joke! He had a scar. He was at the University of Arkansas at this time. So I got to go to the University and see the little dead animals in jars and old musky looking books. And there was my dad in the middle of it all just like Indiana Jones.
Then he would take me hunting and fishing. One time I remember night fishing and catching some kind of mudfish or sucker fish. We fished all night long. Another time he got me out of school early in the day. I was shocked we could do that. We went down below the dam at Tenkiller and fished.
I remember going on water testing missions and he would mix things and then the water would turn different colors. One time he gave me one of the test vials and it was a purple color. I immediately used it to plug up an ant hole because that is the kind of thing little boys do.
Things Change and We Get Older
I have so many good memories with my dad. From a pretty young age, I knew, that when I grew up I wanted to be a dad. If I had a son and then my dad, his grandson, and son would get to hunting and fishing together.
It makes me think of all the cool things I would teach a son. The cool and interesting things, the manly things.
For most of my friends and family, things seem “normal” they all seem to get pregnant and have kids right away. However, when my wife and I got started on “trying” nothing happened. months went by with no change. Doctors visited, tests run, and yet nothing.
And I just trusted what we kept hearing from the doctors. Keep trying and wait. They would test Sherece and repeat the sentiment. Then we would wait…
Sometimes we would wait longer so we could afford the next visit or test, other times the waiting was just part of what we were told to do. Then we arrived at the point where it was time to test me.
I went in and they ran the test and when we got it back we were both shocked but at the same time relieved. The first test revealed only 5 sperm but they were dead and nothing else. So the doctor came in and delivered the news and checked that things looked “in place” and then suggested I take Clomiphene (better known as Clomid) and wait 3 months for things to take effect as the male sperm cycle is 72 days.
Multiple sources had told us, including doctors, “it is easier if it’s male infertility.” This seemed like the answer the fixes for men seemed easy and straightforward.
I’m thinking this whole time, “easy peasy, 72 days later things will be back to normal and we can move on from this.”
So that’s what we did another 3 months of waiting so we can go in and take a test. I will tell you I did get some benefit from the pills that are essentially estrogen hormone receptor blockers (what a mouth full). I’m still researching this, but the doctor explained it simply enough. I take the clomiphene my body thinks it seems more estrogen and that kicks “the boys” into gear to produce testosterone which also brings about sperm.
A Little History
I didn’t mention this yet but I have had low testosterone since they first tested my blood to treat my Hypothyroidism.
Every doctor has said, “you have low testosterone,” and I’ll ask, “how low?” They always say back, “well its relative you are just under the bottom of the scale.” I waited several months until the treatment for the thyroid had started then tried some topical cream. I was told to, “watch out for mood changes.” After a short amount of time doing the treatment, I decided the mood changes were a cost too high for the little benefit I might get.
We have also learned that these straight testosterone replacements shut down the testis in the same way mine already seems to be.
Trusting the doctors and seeing a few positive changes in other areas I felt ready for the 90-day test. I felt like I knew Sherece and I can be on our way to grow our family.
Confident and ready for good news Sherece and I went to the doctor’s office to hear the results. Not 5 million or more like I hoped for. Not 5 thousand. Not even the 5 dead ones like last time. Just zero… It felt pretty bad. Anti-manly if you will allow.
So here we are again waiting for another 90 days to pass so we can test again. They want us to come in and talk about taking HCG shots, but as it stands right now we need to wait a few weeks. The costs of testing blood and other things add up fast. It is pretty much not covered by insurance.
I can’t complain when I look at what other people we know have had to spend. But when you are waiting then you have to wait extra because you just don’t have the money it hurts that much more. It adds stress.
So now you have a little idea about some personal things going on with Sherece and I. You might understand how my dad’s influence makes me want to be a father. Why we don’t have kids yet.
I will try to add information that I think will be helpful to my blog as I find and understand it. I appreciate you that have read this and ask that you leave a comment.
I wanted to get this out there because it has been so long!
Basically, I have been hard at work as you have you and like everyone in our predicament I end up saying “I’m too busy.” <–(a lot)
But I decided I have to make some time to make things happen
If you don’t know my wife and I recently moved back to Tulsa. While this has been so much easier giving us more time to see each other and less time driving and expense it also means I have been doing a lot of “catching up” if we can call it that. We also still regularly travel back to Muskogee to see friends, customers, and family.
Working on Few Things
Something that I have been putting off for over a year now is working on the Hektechnologies website and the Better PC Health website. I need to fix the design, layout, and copy. So I have started on that, but in the process, I started something else. Well, 3x something else:
1st – The Ultimate Guide to Building a WordPress Business website – This will be interesting because unlike most blog posts and articles that are posted on completion I have posted this as I work on it and update it each time I make changes. So far I have reorganized the content more than once and rewritten a few things, but it gets better each time. When done I will turn it into an e-book and Udemy course, but also leave the free guide posted right where it is.
2nd – The Ultimate Guide to Online Marketing – Like the WordPress guide I am posting this one as it is developed. I think this one will take much longer as I want to cover everything and at the end leave readers with a checklist of sorts that they can apply with reasonable success.
And Working on Other Things
Beyond that, I have several other things going including working at a company called Techsico doing a really cool program that connects their web driven project management system directly into QuickBooks. This removes human error in the data entry process and makes syncing data a breeze. I plan on showcasing the features in the near future.
In order to brush up on my marketing knowledge, I wanted to challenge myself. So on my personal YouTube channel, I am doing live videos discussing popular Online Marketing articles from around the web. It should be interesting and worth subscribing. So please check it out and let me know what you think. If you didn’t know there is also an official Hektechnologies YouTube where I post helpful WordPress, business, and developer/programming videos.
One last thing to mention, if you made it this far then maybe you’d like to check out another project that I have been hard at work on. Uniquelahoma is a website dedicated to featuring the Uniqueness of Oklahoma. I encourage you to take a look!
Hope to talk to you guys again soon,
PS If you didn’t catch it the title it’s backward sometimes it takes a little longer and we need to work a little harder to get that dollar.
Sometimes my life just feels nuts.
What I have come to realize is true. At some point when I try to do too much at once. I really do nothing at all.
Now here we are trying to scale back on the amount of stuff we own and the things we are doing (we being Sherece and me). You’d think it would be as easy as just throwing a few things out and saying no to new things that come along but it is not always that easy.
Anyhow there is no doubt about it, we are busy right now. Things are hectic, but we press on and get through. Today was a nice day…
We spent some time looking at apartments and finding ways to save some money. It was nice just to spend some time with my wife more or less just hanging out. All that and I still managed to actually get some things done.
Friday, on the other hand, was a disaster of sorts! Getting our tag for our car was its own special kind of drama. I won’t go into details but I will say I will be happy if I never purchase a new car again. 👿
Now, this post has been way more personal than typically you have seen from me, but I used to do this kind of thing far more often. I think I wouldn’t mind doing so regularly. If I at least get into the habit of banging out another post every now and then maybe I will just sit down and write to the backlog I have created of posts I want to write. Yeah…. I have lots of them and while I kicking some things to the curb posting help articles, reviews, and blog type stuff, in general, is something I want to try to do more often.
Check out our video
To Prepare for the Sale of Better PC Health
It’s hard work to sell a business. You realized how many things you need to get together and ready for the new owners. That is what I am working on now;. Not only am I seeing the things that I have done but the plans of things to do. It’s kind of cool and a little sad. Don’t misunderstand I have no regrets, I know for me I have other things to work on.
Coming soon to a blog and YouTube channel near you 😉
I have several irons in the fire and this all about getting irons out so I can get to the ones I really want to be working on. That is why soon I will be posting more about what is going on, and I will be producing more videos. In general, though I think I will be doing a better job of the things I work on and be able to give them more focus. In theory, this should allow me to my best work.
So in case you were wondering the sale of Better PC Health is here: https://flippa.com/7137327-betterpchealth-com
Yeah, you saw that right. Better PC Health is up for grabs. There are too many cool things about it that I am not using. The thing that drove me over the edge on it was something random that happened. I got the passing idea to call some schools and churches to see if they would be interested in a product that would lower IT costs allowing budgets more predictable.
The thing is they were very interested… Good news right?
In most cases, you call on people and get a straight, “no” or a very (seemingly kind) “maybe later”. But, the thing was they were really interested. This sounded like a great deal to them. Something I hadn’t considered but looked at later some of these schools were looking to hire IT people. It started to make sense. They need to control the budget and my product might allow them not to spend more than they need.
Now I felt great about this. I had found or seemingly found my missing market segment… However, as the days passed and I just tried to catch up on my existing work at other things I realized 2 things.
2 Things were Holding Me Back
First, I realized that inadvertently in an effort to make the money I need to survive I had moved on to other things. My baby got thrown out with the bath water at some point and I needed to do some rehab on it. My sales copy was (is) out of date. Videos I had planned on making never happened. Email autoresponders sit unfinished. The list of undone goes on.
Second, I realized that I had lost the passion that gave me an edge originally… I used to sit anxiously waiting for the newest release of tech news, the latest breakthrough, or the next big gadget. That ended years ago… Mostly around the time I got married and realized it was much more fun to hang out with someone cool like my wife.
Really along my journey, I found I liked building websites, having a hand in marketing, and ‘doing’ sales. I think I really knew that for much longer, but didn’t have the opportunities or more possibly know how to take advantage if I did.
Someone is going to get a deal
With a fully working support system. live chat, built-in email system (autoresponder system), and existing customers. Someone is going to get a deal.
But I feel like I live with this constantly.
Sorry for the short post guys and gals, I wanted to vent some frustration and I was going to make a vlog today, but I really don’t feel well at all. Hope everyone is having a good week.